Ugly Christmas Sweater

Eight years ago, Brian and I had just met a few months prior. We had just formed our relationship, it was a friendship filled with a very high level of sexual chemistry. There is a lot to say to where we stood at this moment in time, but that is for another story at another time.

I was working at Radio Shack in the Verizon part of the store, and it was our "ugly Christmas sweater" day. I had a blast and knew I looked awful. Brian came into the store, like he always did and all he could tell me was that I looked hot. I brushed it off as being totally ridiculous! No one looks hot in an ugly Christmas sweater. He seemed to love it though, and I still to this day, do not understand why or how.

Last year he went Christmas shopping for me, he had scoured every single store trying to find an "ugly Christmas sweater". I remember opening the gift and the smile of delighted anticipation in his eyes as I pulled out the hideous sweater, and I broke out into a laugh.

"I looked everywhere for an ugly sweater. I finally found one at K-Mart. I remember the first time I saw you in the ugly Christmas sweater and I loved it. So I decided every year I am going to buy you an ugly Christmas sweater." he told me.

My heart felt so full of love and filled with nostalgic memories, and I told him that I liked that tradition idea.

It's a year later and every store I walk into there are racks and racks of Christmas sweaters. Every time I see them, I frown with deep sorrow. I realized that last year was the beginning, and the end of the Christmas sweater tradition...

Today, with tears in my eyes, I picked up an "ugly Christmas sweater" bought myself a card, and checked out at the store. This gift I will wrap and put under the tree and carry on the tradition he wanted to start for me. I purchased this gift for me, from him... Every year I will always wear the last sweater he ever gave me, but I will also be sure that under that tree will always be the sweater I know he would want me to have. The sweater that he some how would find sexy on me.

I will pray he will be there with me on Christmas morning. Holding me, loving me, and whispering into my ear; "I love you my wife, my booboo." For every year I will wrap my arms tightly around my chest as though he were there, holding tight and whispering in to the still air, hoping he will hear my silent whispers; "I love you, my husband, my heart, my forever."