You could say that Brian and I had a rocky relationship, but most of the problems I had with him were stupid--like I would get mad when he told me to do my chores or to go to bed, but in reality he was just looking out for me and made sure I got my stuff done. So that I was ready for the next day. I only now realize the sacrifices he made for us: his time, his sanity, etc. He was always there for us and wanted us to make it in life and use him as an example of what not to do. But, if there is one thing that I made an example of is his love for his kids and my mom, I want to love my future wife and kids the same amount if not even more than he loved us, if that is even possible. Sure I am not going to do the bad stuff he did, because I didn't really make an example of that. Right now or ever for that fact, am I going to look back and think about all the bad stuff he did. I am going to look back and think about the good times I had. like playing Halo with him or him giving me life lessons to the very simple things like teaching me how to shave. My mom always thought that I never really had a male role model in my life and I never would, but Brian was a role model for me. My role model didn't need to be perfect and I didn't have to like him all the time, but he had guidelines that I respected and that I am going to take on as my own. For example: sacrifice for my loved ones. He sacrificed so much for us with little in return. Most people thing that we would do better off without him, and I used to think that too. But in reality, without him I would be a problem child, more than I am now. I wouldn't be here either, we would have lost our house and my mom would have been deemed unfit to care for us and we would have been taken and split apart into different foster families. Brian is the only reason why we are together and why we are here together and hopefully we can always stay together forward, without him.
DISCLAIMER: I never would have lost my children, but in the minds of a young one, I could see where this would be a fear.
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